So, I was perusing through Facebook one day and a video came across my feed. It was titled “10 Things You Need To Give Up If You Want To Be Happy” from Higher Perspective (Facebook)
Lo and behold, these 10 things are exactly what I learned to give up on, way back in 2008 when I started my “Journey to Higher Perspective,” so to speak. It’s a journey I am still embarking upon…
Anyhoo, I’m going to list these here for you, with a bit of my own advice…
1. Let go of limiting beliefs
Basing your reality on what you’ve been told your whole life is robbing you of your truth. Just because society, your friends or, even your parents tell you what they think you can or cannot, should or should not do doesn’t mean it’s actually true. Don’t bank on other people’s beliefs–invest in your own.
2. Don’t dwell on the past
I learned this from Eckhart Tolle in his books The Power of Now: A Guide to Spiritual Enlightenment and A New Earth: Awakening to Your Life’s Purpose. This was the hardest thing for me to stop. I constantly replayed scenarios in my head of events and conversations, trying to make it “right.” It was torturous. Jumping in the jacuzzi with regret is not a good time…believe me.
3. Stop worrying about the future
The same goes for the constant worrying about what hasn’t even happened yet. Don’t do it. This is not to say planning for the future is wrong…just don’t let constant worry over things you may not have any control over consume your well-being. Don’t put the cart before the horse.
4. No negative self-talk
This, along with “reframing” was a new concept to me when I first heard of it at a Weight Watchers meeting years ago (hey, it worked). I learned to stop “downing” myself and to reframe the ideas that were running through my head. It is very important to be your own cheerleader, not the heckler.
5. Rid yourself of the need to impress others
Not just impress, but please. I always felt the need to put other people’s comfort above my own. It’s the polite thing to do, right? No, not always. You do not need to put yourself in a position of discomfort or unpleasantness to impress them. Is their opinion the only one that matters? It shouldn’t be. Simple as that.
6. Quit complaining
I posted a meme on facebook once that said something like “don’t complain for one day and see how your life turns out.” Someone refuted it. REFUTED it. They said–well, I don’t remember exactly what they said, maybe something about it being impossible or something– but, that was their opinion and, they felt the uncontrollable need to comment it. I disagreed. Being present in your daily life, as impossible as it may seem to accomplish, is, indeed, accomplishable. Being aware of your every moment, though, and feelings as much as possible will direct your attention to when you are complaining. And, then, you can reel it in.
7. Squelch that need to always be right
OOOOH, this was a big one for me. Because I’m always right. About everything. If you know me, you’ll know that it is undeniably true. And, I know this to be true because I am a legend in my own mind…But, seriously, I should have gone to a meeting for compulsive “know it all’s.” Okay, I don’t think I was quite that bad…but, they didn’t call me “little miss can’t be wrong” for nothing. Anyway, just ask yourself, “Is it better to be right and hurt someone, or to just keep the peace and let your ego have a rest?”
8. Remove your resistance to change
Everyone struggles with this from time to time, I think. Some more than most (I’m not mentioning any names…because I’d be saying my own…). Heck, I was known at work for not allowing anybody to sit at my “spot” at the desk in our department. I was pretty adamant about it; I had a reputation. I wasn’t like this because I was arrogant or selfish. I just could not take the change. I was a creature of habit ( I sort of still am, but, I’m getting better). I still have to sit on the “inside” when at the movies, on a certain side of the table (or, preferably the booth) when dining out, and, I have to travel the same way home through my neighborhood. I’ve changed so many of my other habits, though. It has been nothing but good. Hey, I changed the ultimate habit, you know…I quit my career of 18 years to head into the unknown to follow my passion. It’s doable. You’ll survive. I promise.
9. Enough with blaming others
Going along with always needing to be right, comes the “blame game.” I’ve known people who do this remarkably well. This, I can say, has never been a big problem for me. I, for as long as I can remember, have always owned up to my mistakes and wrong-doings. I believe that honesty is the best policy and live my life as such–I despise empty and unmerited excuses. But, it can be a tricky habit to form (and break). You can start by remembering #2 and trying to be always mindful of your actions, thoughts, and feelings.
10. End your need for others approval
And, again, just like in #5, you don’t need to do this, either. Aside from knowing right from wrong, you are fully capable (and entitled) to make your own decisions. You don’t need the approval of other people, society, or your family, to give you permission to do what makes you happy. As long as you are not setting out to hurt anyone, feel free to be just that…free. Free in your life to do whatever your mind can dream up…
And, that’s it! Oh…wait…there’s a bit of a bonus. A week later, as I was scrolling through Facebook, again, another video popped up in my feed. Aptly titled, “10 Things to Let Go of to Be Happy” from Power of Positivity, there were many similarities to the list above, except for a few. Quickly, their list looks like this:
- Let go of toxic people in your life
- Let go of regretting past mistakes
- Let go of the need to be right
- Let go of feeling sorry for yourself
- Let go of negative self-talk
- Let go of the need to impress others
- Let go of limiting beliefs
- Let go of the need to please everyone
- Let go of gossip and complaining
- Let go of worry about the future
It looks like the same list, I know, but, as you can see, there are some differences worth mentioning.
Letting go of toxic people in your life is a bit of a “toughy.” What if said people are your best friends from school, your family or…egads!…your spouse or child!? I don’t have a definitive answer for you, I’m still working on this, myself. But, I like to keep in mind that I am important, too. My feelings are just as important as anybody else’s. I still have a whole long life to live, and, I have the right to live it in peace and with joyful abandon. And, so do you.
So, I guess we need to stop feeling sorry for ourselves (#4), stop complaining about our lives and/or gossiping about other people’s lives (#9), and charge on, with the intention to stop giving ourselves a hard time and just be happy, already!
One more thing…I recently purchased a little journal called the Instant Happiness Journal and, I love it. It has 365 pages for you to journal in succession, each based on a prompt for you to get an instant little boost of happiness.Check it out for yourself:
Enjoy your weekend, and, as always…
Wishing you all the wonderfulness you deserve!